The Adolescent Years (12-18)

Age 13, with siblings

There is very little about the typical adolescent woes that I can relate to.  I didn't struggle with peer pressure, alcohol, drugs or sexual pressures, and I experienced very few of Stanley Hall's (1905) hallmarks of "normal" adolescence.  I do remember, however, spending large amounts of time alone in my bedroom working on models and listening to music.  Unconsciously, I suppose this was a form of "refusal of socialization."  "Celebration of youth culture" is the only other theme described by Hall that I can somewhat relate to, although the activities I enjoyed were not appreciated by the majority of my peers.  Hall defined this theme as "sense of solidarity based on sharing of fads and styles by others in the same age group"  (Solmonson 2009, p. 122).  My best friend and I shared the same taste in music (Van Halen, Whitesnake, Dokken, Stryper, Bride) and both enjoyed playing computer games for hours on end, and there was a certain solidarity in those shared activities.

Age 15, ROTC

I believe my relationship with my parents was a big reason why my adolescence went as smoothly as it did.  I can attest that parents do play a key role in helping children to develop both independence and autonomy.  In my teen years, while I became more separated from my parents, I still remained securely attached to them in the sense that they continued to provide a great deal of support and encouragment.  I think my parents also did a good job of allowing me to experience failure.  Because they didn't bail me out, I learned to cope with failure in life, while in a secure environment.  I've had many friends since then who seem to have trouble with this, probably because they didn't learn to handle failure in their adolscence, and quite possibly because well meaning parents protected them from it.  This doesn't mean I don't expereince failure as an adult, but I believe I have efficient coping mechanisms in place, another debt I owe to my parents.  Lastly, regarding parental influence, my parents taught us to do things for ourselves, even if they could have done it faster themselves, whether it was cooking, ironing, or registering for college.  This is the best way to teach responsibility, and something I intend to imitate with my own children.

Age 18, with Dad


In terms of identity development, I didn't do a lot of experimenting before settling on my niche.  I did play football in middle school, but realized in high school that I wasn't a jock, just a fat white boy on the defensive line, and shooting guns was a lot more fun.  My niche turned out to be the JROTC rifle team.  We traveled around the state winning numerous competitions, something I truly enjoyed.  In my Junior year, I competed on the varsity rifle team and our group won first place in the region, second place in the state.  In my Senior year, I was Commander of our rifle team and won 1st place (Top Shooter) individually in our region.  Those were good times.