The Early Years (0-5)

I was born in 1974 in Temple, Texas, while my father was stationed at Ft. Hood as a helicopter pilot in the Army.  I was named Donald after my father but called by middle name "Anthony" for most of my growing up years.  My mother had been told she would be unable to have children, so as the first born I was considered a "gift from God" and reminded often of how very special and loved I was.  We were a middle class family with all of our physical needs met, and my mom was always at home to give me her undivided attention.  I believe I had the ideal environment for physical, emotional and social development during this phase.  My mother's consistent presence in my life provided the familiarity, empathy, and trusting relationship that young children need to thrive emotionally.  Mary Ainsworth would likely have classified me as demonstrating "secure attachment" behaviors.  Because my mom was consistently responsive to my needs, I learned the world was a safe place to explore and that people could be trusted. 

When I was 18 months old, my father finished his active duty military career and our family moved to Shreveport to be close to my grandparents.  When I was 3 1/2, my sister Heather was born.  I remember this as a very happy time.  I adored my little sister and never felt threatened or jealous--it seemed my mom had an endless supply of love and attention for both of us.  No matter where my family lived, we were always actively involved in our "church family," a network of adults and children where we socialized, received support, and worshipped together.  I have good memories of the early years in Shreveport, particularly of attending our church preschool where I made several lifelong friends.  I spent a lot of time outdoors during this time, and one of my most vivid memories is of an afternoon on the backyard swing.  I was apparently unaware of the danger of insects at that time and allowed a wasp to sting me multiple times, an episode that launched a lifetime fear and hatred of all stinging insects.  To this day I will spend large amounts of money, time and energy assuring the death of wasps, hornets, bees and the like, and will run or jump at superhuman speeds to get out of their path.  In a sense, this was classical conditioning at its finest, a learned response to stimuli brought about by my undesirable experience.

When I was four, our family moved to Heavener, Oklahoma where my father worked for the KCS Railroad. I have good memories there also, where I attended kindergarten, played T-ball, and learned to ride a bike.  I recall  the day we rode to the general store in downtown Heavener to buy me a new bicycle, and I insisted on riding it home, while my mom and sister rode home in the car.  Erikson would say that I was able to establish autonomy, rather than shame or doubt, during this stage.  I believe my parents did a good job of fostering confidence in me by allowing free choice and encouraging independent play during this time of motor and cognitive skill development.

Speaking of free choice, the story is frequently told of my trip to WalMart with a neighbor, for which my mother gave me a dollar to buy a matchbox car.  In the parking lot at the store, I spotted a truck selling fresh corn, five ears for a dollar, and insisted on buying corn instead of a toy.  They say I came home smiling from ear to ear, very pleased with my purchase.  In the next stage of Erikson's psychosocial theory, one would say this showed initiative rather than guilt, as my parents had obviously instilled in me a sense of responsibility.  Because they were always supportive of my ideas, I learned to develop my own plans and act on those plans.  I'd like to say I'd progressed to Kholberg's second level of "conventional" morality, seeking the approval of others for my actions, but this was a purely preconventional decision based on immediate personal gain-- I just liked corn.