The Middle Years (6-11)

     As with most people, the middle years were a time of rapid growth and change in my life, not just physically, but socially, morally and intellectually as well.  I believe the most significant influencing factor in my life during this time was the presence of my two younger siblings.  As the older brother, I took very seriously my responsibility for these two little people.  Our interactions not only prepared me to function socially in society, but also laid a foundation of leadership skills I would use into my adult life.

     My sister Heather, roughly four years younger, was someone I protected and taught everything I could.  Our playtimes together in my elementary years taught us both about sharing, taking turns and being sensitive to another person's the feelings.  Then when I was six and a half, my little brother Dwain came along, and my education in patience, anger management, and forgiveness began.

By age 10, I had taken interest in building model airplanes, Lego models, and other detailed projects, so I had quite a collection of highly valued objects.  It was those prized possessions that caused the most strife in those years, since my brother frequently mistook them for toys.  On more than one occasion he literally destroyed in a matter of minutes a model I had worked on for hours a day over a period of many weeks.  Needless to say, I was furious.  But he was my brother, and I loved him, so I learned to forgive, be patient, and keep my treasures on a very high shelf.

     By far the most traumatic event in my memory of those middle years also involved my little brother.  It was Saturday morning and the three of us, 10, 6, and 4, were in the front yard playing.  We wanted to play golf, but having no golf clubs or golfballs, decided to improvise and use baseball bats and a softball.  I apparently didn't realize my brother was standing beside me, and as I swung, my bat hit him square in the jaw, knocking him out cold.  All I remember is picking him up, screaming for my parents, and crying.. lots of crying.  As far as I knew, I had killed my baby brother.  We all spent the day in the emergency room, where we learned his jaw was broken and would be wired shut for weeks, but otherwise, he was okay.  Although Erikson attributed guilt vs. initiative to the period ending at age 6, I certainly did struggle with guilt following that incident. I was quite disturbed for a few months, but with the encouragement of my parents, I eventually moved on, forgave myself, and went on to become a very initiative-driven middle-schooler.

In terms of industry vs. inferiority, I believe inferiority won our in the classroom, but industry ultimately won out in every other area of my life.  I wasn't particularly industrious, successful, or popular at school, but was enough of all three at home and at church to more than make up for it.